i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you win again, gameday.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
