I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're too hungover to prance.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize