well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i would punch a child for taco bell
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
