I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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