sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
