you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
