His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
