Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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