is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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