mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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