I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Too much gin, very little bucket
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
