Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
