My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
