when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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