Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
