Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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