Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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