I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
