Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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