is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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