Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
