i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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