her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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