the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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