I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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