they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
