i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am available for nakedness
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
