There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
