we're blogging at a bar
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
