I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize