Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
