I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
