PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
