New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
