Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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