I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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