Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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