I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
