I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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