long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize