I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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