And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this will be a night to untag.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
