I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
