erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize