Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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