p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize