is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
