Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
