I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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