The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
