Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
