Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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