piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Houston, we have a blender
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
