My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
