You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize