just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
