either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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