I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
