The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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